It has been a Weird Week, Part 3: Gideon has a knack for Weirdness

So I told you about the lampshade fire…

I told you about the “night fight”…

and although there were other weird portions of our week, that really only leaves one thing worth telling you about.

On Tuesday last, my Mom and the kids and I went on what was supposed to be a quick outing to the donut shop and to one little antique store. I had seen a vanity I thought I might want the week before and I wanted to look at it once more.

But it turned out to be one of those days that dragged on and on and on, like we were on a treadmill of sorts – lots of fun, but lots of work with three little ones alongside us. And it was hot.

We ate donuts – but it lasted forever and the kids had to go potty and we ended up weaving back to the underbelly of the donut shop to find the teensy tiny restroom in the back (but it was off-the-charts awesome to see the kitchen where the donuts are made!). We went to the antique store – but on my way in, I stopped in at another store where I found the vanity of my dreams, and we had to take turns looking at it and thinking about it and calling Mr. Gore about it and talking to the lady about it and…buying it. Took forever. (more on that later!). We went to the park, which was totally unscripted. And hot. We went to a hamburger joint for lunch, also unscripted, also hot (the hamburgers, not the joint). We went to Wal-Mart…

and that’s where it struck me that we were having a weirdly different kind of week.

You know what it’s like to take 3 people aged 5 and under to Wal-Mart at the end of a long day, don’t you? Even if they are well-behaved, there is lots of talking, lots of silly noises, lots of asking for stuff and lots of HANDS. Grabbing stuff off the shelves, grabbing stuff out of the cart and dropping it on the floor, grabbing goodies at the check-out line…

By the time we were through, I was exhausted and shocked that our short little morning jaunt had lasted until almost 4:00 p.m. We got all the groceries and children tucked safely back into the van when Gideon said it: “I need to go to the bathroom!” My heart groaned within me.

And then Rebekah said it: “Me too!!”

And my heart groaned a second time.

Leaving Mom and Betsie in our van at the curb, we unloaded once more and back into Wal-Mart we walked, this time to the ladies bathroom. My stress level was rising, trying to keep all those hands from touching germ-y bathroom surfaces, and by the time they had finished their business and washed their hands and dried them, I was in a great hurry to get out of that store!

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” I cheered, gesturing for them to march behind me in a single file line, “March, march, march!”

It didn’t work.

Gideon got out of line and was soon marching ahead of us, but my goal was being reached: we were hurrying.

But as usual, Gideon soon got a little too far ahead for my comfort, so I had to yell out for him to stop and slow down.

He did…

And then he turned to look around him. And then I noticed him talking to a Wal-Mart worker nearby. And then I noticed her turning around and picking something up. And then I noticed her handing it to him. And then I noticed the huge excited grin on his face. And then it registered what was happening…

Gideon had just received a GIANT stand-up Wal-Mart advertisement promoting “The Avengers”, Ironman on one side, The Hulk on the other.

“Uhhhhh…” I said, coming up beside them.

“He can have that!” she said with a smile. “We were about to throw them out.”

Gideon was jumping up and down.

And I was calculating how long this ginormous piece of paper would be in my house under the watchful and eccentric eye of Gid the Hoarder…

approximately 1, 437 years.

I will never forget my Mom’s face when she saw us walking out of Wal-Mart with our new treasure. It said exactly what I was thinking…

What in the world?!

This is hilarious.

How did this happen?!

Life with Gideon is the best.

Welcome to our home, Ironman.

Just to show you the scale of the advertisement, see Gideon’s fingers on the top.

Welcome to our home, The Hulk (that stares at me at night when I sneak upstairs to turn off night lights).

Welcome to our sweet farmhouse filled with nostalgia and antiques…I’m so happy you’re with us now…in the Peter Pan inspired nursery filled with wooden toys and everything I find beautiful and innocent…really, I’m so thrilled…how long do you get to stay?…oh, forever?…that’s so nice…I hope you’re happy here.

This in no way concludes our weird week, but it at least sums it up.

And I thank God for every weird bit of it.

One thought on “It has been a Weird Week, Part 3: Gideon has a knack for Weirdness

  1. I laughed out loud at all 3 “weird week” posts and I am now wishing you had kept them coming and NOT ended your last one with “This in no way concludes our weird week, but it at least sums it up.” Oh man! I wish I knew what else happened. I just love reading your posts. It has kept me SANE at work the last 2 days. 🙂

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