Aside from Mrs. Gore’s Bookclub, I have another feature I’ll be adding to my blog called “Weeklies”. At the end of each week, I’ll do my best to publish a list of funny (or noteworthy) snippets from our days here at home and in my head…if this works, it will benefit both of us ~ I’ll have a record of the crazy stuff my kids say and you’ll get a little chuckle. If it doesn’t work, well…don’t tell me. Just pretend you like it. If you’ve already heard any of these on facebook, DO forgive me.
* My 7-year old niece Abigail is at the age where she likes to hear stories about when we (including her) were all “little”. When she came over last week, she said “My Daddy told me what you were like when you were little.” “Oh?” I said, knowing this would be interesting. “Yep. He said that you were really bossy and you liked to lay on the couch and read and you ate so many grapes one day that you threw up.” That’s funny…when my brother Jerry was little he was an annoying pest. Glad some of us have grown up…
*Its weird how you don’t have to teach your kids everything – each one seems to come out equipped with certain characteristics and strong suits. Somewhere, Rebekah has picked up the proper way to make introductions. When our friends, Val and Katie, came for supper, she said to Katie: “Hello, what is your name?” Katie answered her, and then Rebekah said “My name is Rebekah Sunday. Would you like to meet my new friend, Baby Betsie?” as she gestured to the silent infant sitting up in the living room floor. “And that’s my big brother, Gideon.” I just watched in utter fascination with this huge, goofy grin on my face. Kind of like I’m doing now.
* Gid came into my room this morning and said “Did you know that when I got in your bed last night I had a booger on my finger and it had blood on it and do you know where I put it?” “Uhhhhh…” I replied with no small amount of horror. He lifted up a pillow and yep, there it was on the sheets. Honestly, I was SO relieved. I just knew he was going to point to my hair…
*I’ve got to hand it to all of you who are bringing up children alone or even shouldering the responsibilities of adulthood without a mate…that’s some hard stuff. With Mr. Gore away for three nights and four days this week, I found myself asking many uncommon questions: “What will I do if I get a flat?” “How am I going to get Gideon to take his nap?…I’ve tried everything.” “Who’s going to edit my blog posts for errors and/or inappropriateness?” In all seriousness, I got a taste of how difficult it is to be a single parent this week – double the work, double the responsibility. My admiration for you has doubled (at least).
*We bought Gid the Kid an awesome – that’s right, awesome – Lionel G-gauge train for Christmas (I got a good deal on it in the summer). If that’s not cool enough, get this: its the Hogwarts Express. He’s never even heard of Harry Potter, but I’m sure at least one year of his homeschool curriculum will be based on the series (we’ll drink Butterbeer and eat Chocolate Frogs and I’ll dress as Bellatrix Lestrange by letting my hair stay in its natural, frizzy state…I can’t wait). And then he’ll realize that at the tender age of 4, he received THE coolest train ever made. And guess what he spent nearly two hours playing with this morning (our first free morning home since Christmas)? A styrofoam bowl and 20 toothpicks. Ouch. Point taken.
*Sometimes spelling errors are quite funny. Like when you spell “tootpicks” instead of “toothpicks”. If you weren’t such a professional blogger you might leave it spelled the wrong way…
*Rebekah’s pretend phone conversations kinda crack me up. She sounds very professional and very clippy as she quickly repeats the same dialogue over and over again: “Hello? Oh, hi Mommy. How are you? Oh are you playing with Abigail and Anna? Oh, okay. Bye! Muah (kissy noise)!” Then she snaps the phone shut with aplomb. I particularly liked it this week when she was talking on her “Belle” Disney Princess cell phone: “Bonjour! Hi, Belle. How are you? Oh are you playing with the Beast? Oh, okay. Bye! Muah!”
*Having 3 poopers in the house that are under the age of 5 means that I am washing my hands about 120 times a day. I applaud their regularity, but sheesh...
*My brother, Jerry, accompanied Mr. Gore to Kentucky this week for an alumni class at Southern Seminary. That left lots of women and children alone in our family, so my sister-in-law and I loaded up our lives and retreated to the country to have a weeklong pajama party at my Mom and Dad’s house. It was loud. It was hectic. It was crowded. It was messy. It was 60-ish degrees all week. It was wonderful.
*Gideon is the KING of mindgames. Just one example as we were in a house with people sleeping in almost every room, meaning I could not discipline him like he needed to be disciplined (Gideon’s parts are italicized): I can’t go to bed! I’m hungry and thirsty. Well, get a drink of water. But no more food. But I’m hungry more than I’m thirsty. You can have a drink of water – then go.to.bed. But I’m not even thirsty. I’m so hungry. (I get up, fix him a glass of water). Take a drink, Gid, then go to bed. I don’t want it. I’m not drinking it. (I set it down and leave it in the hallway). I don’t want that water – I’m not going to drink it. Don’t drink it then. Just leave it there. I’m not going to drink it. That’s fine – I don’t care if you drink it. Go to bed. But someone might step on it or walk into it and spill it. No they won’t. But what if it falls over and spills?! (I finally move it up on the dryer, knowing what’s next). I changed my mind. Can I have that cup of water? (p.s. I don’t think this is funny. The lady who just wanted to eat her bedtime snack and watch “Downton Abbey” just wants your sympathy).
*Gid fell asleep one night when I was holding him. He was snoring he was so asleep. I gingerly pulled away from him and slowly began to stand up when his arms shot out around my neck and pulled me back down. This happened 3 times. I felt very much like the cat’s playtoy.
*I was putting my make-up on today while editing some writings when I felt something wet on my hand. Then I noticed the strand of drool that was coming from…my own mouth. Lovely. Apparently multi-tasking does not behoove me.
*I wondered briefly this week what kind of student Gideon would be if he were in public school (I thought I knew the answer and it has now been confirmed). My parents called on their way home from work – Gideon answered the phone – and offered to bring home drinks for everyone. “Bug Juice” for the kids, and then my Mom asked Gideon if his Mama would like a Dr. Pepper from the store or if she would like to make some coffee. I could hear her so I answered “coffee”, expecting Gid to relay my response to her. Gideon looked back and forth at his cousins (who adore him) before answering in the phone “Ummm, my Mom said she wants some…diarrhea.” The girls absolutely burst into giggles as Gideon looked to both of them with glee. His chest puffed out a bit and he got on a roll. “My Mom, she likes to drink…diarrhea!” he said in the phone receiver. More giggles. “Bring her a bottle of diarrhea.” he said, laughing. By this point his cousins were doubled over laughing and he was grinning like the Chesire Cat. So yeah, I’m glad that we’re homeschooling him, but I feel awfully sorry for his teacher…who does not drink diarrhea.
*Betsie is UNREAL. Amy and I have decided that she is like a baby-doll that has come to life. When you lay her down she closes her eyes, when you set her up she smiles. She stays in the place where you left her, she stops crying if you put her pacifier in her mouth. Except, unfortunately, her tooties do not smell like baby powder. On the contrary.
* Gideon might have a future on “Project Runway”. Check out the necklace he designed for me, no joke. (My Mom braided the grass). I’ll be wearing it…never. But cherishing it…always.
*And speaking of country living, it really is the life for me. And for Gideon. And for Rebekah. And for Abigail and Anna and Kate and Amy and…all of us. Sure, the fish in the bucket splashing water on my freshly-laundered pants made me scream, but out here, you don’t need toys. You don’t need schedules. Just family and mudboots and freedom. I thank God for all of it. And I also thank God these amazing photos that Amy took, completely summing up our week:
*On the way home from our week away, after a long day playing outside with no nap this is what went down:
Me (singing acapella from the drivers seat): “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll love ya, tomorrow…”
Gideon: “Can we turn on some music?”
Me: “No music. I’m singing….You’re only a day away!!”
Gideon: “But you’re waking me up. I’m trying to sleep.”
Me: “The sun’ll come out TOMORROW…”
Gideon: “I’m thinking mean things in my head. I’m trying to make them go away. (long, looooong pause). I can’t make them go away.”
*If Rebekah is at your house and asks for some “quesadilla” what she really means is “shredded cheese”. Just thought you should know.
* I’ve been eating Hershey’s kisses with almonds during the typing of this post and even I am surprised by how many foil wrappers are laying next to the keyboard.
And oh my gosh! What a week!