What She Is To Me

We are promised nothing tangible in this life, aside from those great truths found in the Word of God, that if we will delight in Him first He will grant us our biblical desires, that a child of God is never given more than they can bear, that all things will work out for the good for those who love God and have been called by Him…

These promises are a bit paradoxical, their true meaning somewhat unrevealed until we have passed through seasons of sanctification and have had the scales slowly removed from our blind eyes. Before that happens, we (meaning, people like yours truly) tend to think (or at least hope) that those truths are referring to the here and now, to the things we can see and touch, and not necessarily to our chief end, glorifying and enjoying God.

And so those extra things…houses, land, good food, beautiful possessions, are just that…extra. Enjoyable, to be sure, but absolutely extra.

And even those blessings like marriage, children, family and friendship are not exactly promised. How many have gone before us and have either willingly (as in martyrdom) given those blessings up, or have had such things tragically taken from them? Did you know that the theologian John Owen lost 11 of his 12 children in infancy? I am sure that his devotion to God outweighs mine by infinite amounts, yet he was not spared loss and sadness and heartache on this side of heaven.

Therefore, the fact that I do have someone to love and people to love me, and things to call my own…I really don’t take it lightly. I mean, some days I do, rising up out of my bed like the entitled princess I think I am, tempted to whine about the things I can’t afford and to be put out or annoyed with those I usually hold most dear.

But most days, I want to weep when I consider the depth of love that surrounds me on every side, the fellowship I share, not just with my church family, but with my immediate family. I am ever aware of the fragility of each life, of the vapor’s span of time that I have with them; thus my gratitude to God for the thousands of days He has allowed me to spend in the company of these giants is never taken for granted. I don’t deserve a one of them…

Especially my Mom.

The things that immediately come to mind when I think of her are so cliche…

I don’t know what I’d do without her.

I owe her so much.

She means the world to me.

Words cannot begin to express how I feel about her.

And they are probably cliche for a reason. Words can’t fully express how I feel about my Mom. She does mean the world to me. I do owe her so very much. And oh…I don’t know what I would do without her. The very thought makes me ill, even as I know that what I shared about God’s promises is true and that I am not entitled to having a mother at all, let alone one that is as praiseworthy as mine.

And so this Mother’s Day, I won’t just be honoring my Mom with a card, a sentiment, a small token to display what my heart feels for her. I will be inwardly bowed before my Maker among other believers on Sunday morning, heart abounding with thankfulness for one of His most beautiful gifts to me, my Mom, Nancy Jackson. I will honor her by honoring the One she taught me about from the very beginning, the One true God who draws my Mother and me together more than our shared bloodline ever could.

Because of him, we never have to be apart. Praise God for His grace and goodness.


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