I Am Resolved

Today I am reevaluating the ol’ schedule, a spring cleaning of my daily to-do’s if you will, a New Year’s Resolution Day in…February. Which proves just how badly I need a day like this.

It is so easy to fall into bad habits ~ too much time on facebook, too frequently placing the kids in front of the television, too often eating something quick, easy, and super-unhealthy out of the freezer ~ I need a major overhaul, starting from the minute my eyes slowly grow accustomed to each morning’s light until they close in sleep at the end of the day.

I don’t know if I should start with my wants…

I want to read my Bible first thing every morning. I want to spend more time playing with my kids. I want to keep the house continually tidy. I want to be more aware of my friends, family and neighbors and do more to help them and show them I care. I want to have a weekly grocery day with an organized list. I want a new pair of shoes. (oops…disgressing).

Or my needs…

I need to make sure I am putting Mr. Gore first, doing everything I can to make his life easier. I need to start teaching Gideon the basics of life, like brushing his teeth and making his bed in the morning and learning how to recognize his letters and numbers. I need to start showering and grooming and make-upping sometime before 3:00 in the afternoon. And I actually do need a new pair of shoes. Not a sparkly or foofy pair, but a good pair that will inspire me to stay on my feet all day and get this place shipped into shape. (Mr. Gore told me last night that I use that metaphor incorrectly, but I like the sound of it. Now that I am publishing it on “my blog”, it’s an official phrase and I can use it anytime I want, and so can you! You’re welcome, Blogmerica!).

Come to think of it, there’s not a thing on my “want” list that couldn’t also be on my “need” list, and vice versa. Which makes my list even more lengthy and imperative!

I’m behind on Rebekah’s vaccines. Gideon has never been to the dentist. I am six months pregnant and have been to the doctor one time. I still have mercury-glass Christmas trees in my kitchen…

Lest you think I’m being too hard on myself, let me share a facebook status from the beginning of the year:

The reasons I feel like a disgusting loser today: 1. My house looks like it is prepping to be on Hoarder’s. 2. I haven’t actually seen Rebekah today, but had Gideon deliver a baggie of Cheerio’s and a cup of milk to her crib until I can finish my first cup of coffee. 3. I have a stash of white donuts in my robe pocket and am sneaking bites when Gid is not looking.

and then a few weeks later…

I couldn’t figure out why, everytime I pulled the portable phone out of my robe pocket, it was covered in dust. Then I realized that was my powdered donut pocket. I think it might be time for a New Years resolution…

I’m sure any words of encouragement you had for me that I’m really doin’ alright, or  that I shouldn’t get down on myself, have lodged themselves somewhere between your throat and your teeth at my disgusting display of human depravity and stay-at-home-Momness. Those thoughts were shared a month ago, and now that my little glass jars of powdered AND chocolate donuts stand sadly and beseechingly empty, it really might be time for those resolutions.

So let’s get started…

Dear Mrs. Gore-that-you-are,

These are your resolutions, and you must start them soon. Like tomorrow or the next day.

Resolution #1 ~ Buy more powdered AND chocolate donuts.

Resolution #2 ~ Wash robe.

Resolution #3 ~ Disinfect portable phone.

Resolution #4 ~ Put a baggie in your robe pocket to hold your donuts.

Resolution #5 ~ Get off of the computer as soon as you finish typing this post.

Resolution #6 ~ Then put on some make-up.

Resolution #7 ~ Quick! Find the Ped-Egg already and scrub your disgusting feet every day this week. THEN go get a pedicure with your Ihloff giftcard. And for crying out loud, start wearing some socks or something. You look like a gosh darn hillbilly.

Resolution #8 ~ You really need to start reading your Bible every morning, first thing. This has gone on for far too long. Are you serious about knowing God better or not? Do it, you lazy, good-for-nothing hypocrite. You’ll love it, but you already know that, don’t you? I am sticking my tongue out at your utter stupidity.

Resolution #9 ~ Stop being a weirdo.

Resolution #10 ~ Love your husband by cleaning up his house instead of loving yourself by using every spare minute of the childrens’ naptime on self-seeking pursuits. Ready, set…go! (Right after you finish typing this post, turn off the computer, and put on your make-up…)

That’s a decent start, enough for a slacker like you. We’ll add more resolutions in the days and weeks to come, if you can manage to even get past this first day. Spit-spot! And best of luck, with love,

Mrs. Gore-that-you-want-to-be

Well, that was ridiculous. But somehow helpful; I feel much better now. And I really must go! I have some major work to do, and about 25 minutes to do it…

3 thoughts on “I Am Resolved

  1. Oooh…#10 is my downfall too. “Umm…sorry, honey…the house is a mess and I have no idea what’s for dinner, but I sure can tell you everything that’s going on with my Facebook friends and I had a lovely nap!”

    • I love this one! It’s so hard sometimes to get things together! I recommend listening to Andy Stanley’s podcast “Time of your Life” if you have time. It really helped me put things in perspective, and of course talks about how important it is to spend the first few minutes of your day in the Word, and how much better you’ll feel. I’ve recently started reading my Bible and praying FIRST THING, and I feel soooo much better!

      • That’s wonderful! I’ll have to look up the podcast. I had a three week run there where I stayed on top of everything, and it was amazing how much more free time I had during those weeks, plus I didn’t have any guilt because my duties were taken care of…someday I’m going to figure this all out (probably the day before my funeral…)!

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