There is always a silver lining…
when I finally stopped to contemplate a nagging source of discomfort this morning and found that I felt positively achy all over and had come down with some sort of sickness, I thought I was in for an awful, horrible day.
Not so much. I took a much-needed nap and now, while I sit here in bed and try not to think about how bad my skin hurts (you know what I mean? When your skin hurts and even your clothes feel bothersome?), I have the time and freedom to try to gather some of the whirling and swirling thoughts that I’ve been longing to capture for the past couple of weeks.
As I shared on my facebook page the other day…
SO much to say. Too tired to say it.
Right now, though? Not too tired. The only loser in this situation is you, dear reader, who will have to try to keep up with the following stream-of-consciousness that is far too random and varied to gather up neatly into anything very intelligible.
1. I love Baby Shepherd (whom we have dubbed “Little Shep” for reasons I will explain someday). It sounds utterly ridiculous to the ear, but the more kids you have, the easier this all gets. I have never been more laidback with an infant in the house, which means that I have never enjoyed a first month like this. There are three reasons for this phenomenon: 1. I finally grasp the notion that “this too shall pass” and know from experience that these sleepless nights and sleepy days will be over in a jiffy, which, roughly translated, means that I am not FREAKING OUT like I normally am when my sleep receives any kind of interference. 2. I have a TON of help (more on that later), and 3. I’m even deader than I was when I wrote about being “pecked to death“, and have truly become a bit of a hippy. The sound of a baby crying used to send me spiraling into panic mode. Today, I finish my cup of coffee and say “quit yer yappin’ you cute little booger!”
2. I know how everyone loves to hear from new moms who fit into their old pants right after having a baby. So I am very excited to announce to you all that only one month after giving birth to my fourth child, I am ROCKIN’ my pre-pregnancy pants. Everything but my belly and my lovehandles and my muffin top fit into them. Oh…and they’re not really “jeans” so much as they are cropped sweatpants with an elastic waistband.
And they are so, so, so uncomfortable. I shall chuck them tomorrow and reintroduce my beloved maternity leggings. I can still wear those because I’m a hippy now. Aaand because I still look pregnant.
3. I mentioned this on facebook the other day, but I need to expound. If you ever need to know what to get for a big family who just brought home another munchkin, take a cue from my friend, Chrissy, and all the ladies at our church, who brought us food for the entire MONTH of September. The day we brought home Little Shep, Chrissy and her husband, Zac, brought us soup, homemade Irish soda bread (Lord, have mercy) and my favorite brownies, along with a calendar showing me what nights to expect meals. She and the ladies at church had been communicating via facebook what they would be cooking so we would have a varied menu, and with about 3 huge meals per week from them, we were easily able to cover the other nights with leftovers. HEAVENLY doesn’t even begin to describe that gift, and I will never forget it! p.s. Consequently, October 1st was the worst day of my life, a new page on the calendar with no meal plan already written on it. Wahhhh!
4. My husband is having a pretty major back surgery next Wednesday. Which means that I will be completely in charge of this joint and will be taking out the trash for the next 6 months. Thankfully, I am still high on labor fumes and feel like a cross between a pioneer woman and a soldier, and so I am READY. Let’s do this thingy.
5. Speaking of being high on labor fumes, there is something brewing in the heart of me that I have had trouble articulating. Not being pregnant anymore + this upcoming surgery that has me feeling very sentimental + the work of the Spirit + my new and improved hippy soul + the truth of the Word = a speechless and “incandescently happy” Mrs. Gore. I am seeing life with fresh eyes and new joy which means that my prayers have even been speechless. Seriously. I was so full of joy the other night that I asked my husband if we could pray, but when it came time to put words to my heart, I couldn’t. Instead I just used my CareBear stare to send a beam of happiness and love to my Creator. He is so good. Life is so beautiful!!! And not for any of the reasons we expect it to be. It is beautiful because He is beautiful. And that’s enough to cover over all the ugliness this world has to offer.
6. Speaking of beautiful, I splurged on the most awesome carpet bag from Anthropologie, telling myself that I could use it as a “diaper bag”, but the longer I had it hanging on the doorknob, the more glaringly obvious it became that my “bag” was a pretty giant piece of luggage. Even Mary Kate and Ashley couldn’t have pulled this bag off as a purse. It was basically a suitcase with handles. And so I returned it. Sniffle, sniffle. Did I just say that life is beautiful? Because life is the worst.
7. I just repositioned myself on the bed and my skin definitely still hurts. Which means I can keep writing.
8. Get this. You would think that starting a new year of homeschool 5 days after giving birth would be a case of ill-timed horror, but it has been exactly the opposite, simply because I was forced to rearrange any bad, third-trimester habits, and fast! As a result, unless I am feeding the baby, I don’t spend any time of the computer until well after lunch. The same goes for the kids’ television viewing, if they have any at all. And oh, friends. This has been revolutionary, and I have discovered that drinking my coffee while water-coloring with my kids is a million times more fun and satisfactory than drinking my coffee with facebook. We’re having a ball.
9. Remember up there where I said I would expound on all the help I have? Part of the reason I sound like a chipper Pollyanna today is because I have not had to walk this path alone. My Mom has come to my house almost every morning since before my due date and we have tag-teamed this entire operation. The two of us zip all over this house, tidying up, reading books aloudto the kids, doing laundry, soothing criers, fixing meals, teaching devotionals and phonics, and yes, drinking coffee on the front porch. I make lists and she picks up and delivers my groceries for me. All that to say, without her, I would be a haggard mess of a woman, and I thank God for His provision. The same goes for my husband, who often takes the big kids to work with him in the afternoons so I can rest or write or clean, who puts the upstairs kids to bed at night and who chips in with housework, even though he is down in the back. And the best part of all of this? Between the three of us hardworking adults, the house is still a wreck and nothing is ever completely done; I will remember this in the future when I’m frustrated that I alone can’t get everything done! ‘Tis impossible, truly.
10. And one last thing, before this becomes a 1500-worder. I was home alone with my girls the other night, and we fixed each other’s hair and played with lipgloss. And then I died from sheer bliss. Call me crazy, but I could stand to have another daughter or two.
And that about sums up September…
did I mention that my skin hurts?