Weeklies: January 22 – 28

*I overheard Gideon playing with his friends at church: “I am the King of Israel!!” he proclaimed. I’m not sure, but that kind of sounds like blasphemy to me…

*Rebekah was reportedly calling her doctor on the pretend telephone at church when her friends were fighting over a toy: “Dr. Val, Dr. Val!!” she exclaimed in her regular voice. “Jackson and Kate are fighting!” “Okay, I’ll be right there.” she replied in her Rebekah-on-steroids doctor voice. Our kids think our family doctor is a hero. Mr. Gore and I do, too. (and we’re pretty crazy about you too, Katie!)

*Gideon had this crazy cry-fest on the way home from Taco Bueno last Sunday night when he learned that he had been mistaken in thinking he could play video games when he got home. He started pulling out all kinds of new bargaining tools that were quite humorous. “But you promised, Papa!” When Mr. Gore assured him that he made NO such promise, Gideon said “Well if you break your promise to me, then I will not keep my promise to you. I am breaking my promises!” He continued this long heartfelt rant about making and withholding promises and then pulled out the love card when that didn’t work: “But I really love you, Papa! I love you so much!” he cried. When that didn’t work, he tried to act repentant: “I promise, I’ll never act like that again.” Promises, promises! And the height of melodrama. For twenty minutes straight. Rebekah eventually had to add to the noise: “I need you to hold me because my finga hets (finger hurts). I need you to hold me because my heart is bwoken.” Such dramatic children! (But OH so entertaining).

*Rebekah is sitting beside me as I’m perusing Pinterest and has said the following statements in the last 5 seconds or so:
“Oh look at those hearts for Valentine’s!”
“Oh look at those pretty flowers!”
“Oh…LOOK at that muffin!!”
A baby pin addict in the making…

*Rebekah, of course, had another doctor’s appointment this week and entertained us in the waiting room once more. This time she was singing, first a made-up song: “I hurt my finger…I hurt my finger…I hurt my finger…and now I’m at the doctor…alllllll day long!” followed by one of my Rebekah favorites, “Deck the Halls”. Instead of fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, she sings fuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh.

*To reign in the Rebekah waiting-room show, which is always quite...loud…and impossible for anyone to ignore, Mr. Gore tried to calm her down by pretending to fall asleep and asking for a kiss to wake him up. Instead, she planted her feet on the ground and her fists by her side before bellowing “Alvin!!!!” Those of you who have seen her sing “The Chipmunk Song” on facebook know what I’m talking about.

*And one last thing about Rebekah at the doctor – the splint is OFF and her finger, though a mite crooked and a little purple here and there (and oh! her skin!) is FREE. Her little chubby finger used to be so normal and pretty, but I’ve got to say, it has a lot more personality now. Yikes.

*And one last thing about the hurt finger. Our friends and church members have been so kind and concerned for Miss Sunday and so showing them the impressively gross finished product of her left index finger was like toting around a trophy. They would gasp and look at me as they tried to gather their thoughts before exclaiming to Rebekah how proud they were of her and how brave she has been and how “good” her finger looks. All of the children who regularly attend our church are pretty young and they, too, easily accepted the sight of Rebekah’s crooked, bruised and peeling finger (with its fingernail popped out from the bottom). And so on Wednesday night when one of the elementary kids we pick up for church saw it and exclaimed to all her friends in horror “Oh my gosh! Look at her finger!! That’s so gross!!!” I felt the urge to tackle her. I didn’t really know I had that Mama Bear thing in me until that moment. (Thankfully, the Queen of Mama Bears stepped in for me and led her in the kinder way to talk – thanks Amy). But what really stunk about the whole thing is that it showed me that I’m still a sinner who makes idols out of my children. Blech.

*I’m used to having funny kids. What I’m not used to is this darling baby who oozes sweetness and vulnerability; I have never in my life had such a little thing reach over, grab me and pull in for a hug. She does it over and over again, and I’ve got to say, I’m kind of hooked on Baby Betsie. Any future children have some HUGE tiny shoes to fill.

*I noticed that Rebekah has a pair of panties in her purse. “Ooh…” I said. “You’ve got panties in there.”
“Those are for when I go fishing.” she said.
Because no self-respecting woman goes fishing without her fishing panties on. Its all about the accessories.

*Gideon was being mouthy about taking the chair that Rebekah was sitting in and I was telling him that was unacceptable behavior when he pointed at me and said, quite sternly, “Believe in Jesus.” Then he pointed again and said “Believe in Jesus.” Once again, he stumped me. I spend so much time of each day blinking at him in confusion.

*Rebekah was crying so loud and calling for me to come upstairs. I finally went and this is what she was crying about: “Gid told me I’m not beautiful!” I looked at Gid with disappointment on my face and said “Gid…” but before I could finish he said “I didn’t say she wasn’t beautiful! I said she was a boy. A handsome boy.”

*Gideon was repeatedly sitting on his whoopie cushion and dissolving into giggles and I was yelling at Rebekah to stop jumping on the couch when Betsie sprayed my entire top half with the carrots I was feeding her. Like, oh my gosh, I AM the old woman who lived in a shoe.

*My Mom brought by a big bag of Smarties to help Rebekah with her potty-training. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is splitting up her trips to the potty to get more candy…and that by the time she is trained she will have a mouthful of cavities.

*Gid the Kid went to stay at my parents house one night. When I told him how much I would miss him, he hugged me and solemnly swore that he would call me every morning. “How long will you be gone?” I asked. “A hundred years.” he said. (He wishes).

*As I loaded up the girls to go pick Gideon up the next day, it struck me that last year at this time, loading up two children was momentous and harried. Now, however, only having two to get ready feels like a mini-vacation. Or maybe it just depends on which two I have…

*Gid and Rebekah always race to the stairs at bedtime. “I’m winnning!!” Gideon exclaims with victory. “I’m loooosing!!” Rebekah exclaims in the same tone.

*The theology we are instilling in our children sounds pretty funny coming from their little mouths: “Our hearts are bwoken!” Rebekah wails. “I can’t stop cwying. My heart is bwoken!” And my favorite: “I can’t talk and I can’t stop cwying! My heart is dead!!” It sounds so grave…but then, grave is right, isn’t it?

What a week!

2 thoughts on “Weeklies: January 22 – 28

  1. LOVE the doctor stories! Oh and the Mama Bear instinct is crazy, isn’t it…you don’t even realize you possess it until it hits you…and you surprise even yourself with how ready for “battle” you are!

    Your stories make me laugh every week and remind me to laugh at my own life!

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