The following was mostly taken (with only a few minor alterations and additions) from the 2007 edition of The Harry Hareld and chronicles the incubation, birth and first days of Gideon Michael Gore. Without further ado, I present to you…
“There’s a Bun in my Oven and I Don’t Know How to Cook”
One Woman’s Journey to Motherhood…In Diary and Recollection
August 7, 2006
I ran out of time in my last entry to write about a suspicion that is now a fact…there is a wee babe in MY belly. Yes, even as I write that I little believe it, although I do have symptoms to help me in my disbelief.
Pregnancy has given me a new bedtime ritual. Before washing my face and brushing my teeth, I sit in my pink chair and cry my eyes out. Last night when I did this, Chris asked what was wrong and I wailed, “I don’t want to take a shower.” He asked why not and I cried “because I have to get wet, and then I have to get dry and then I have to put on lotion…” It seemed really dreadful at the time.
My sense of taste is so heightened! I am loving mustard and have eaten a hot dog smothered, nay drenched, with the stuff every day this week. It tastes so good I don’t drink anything afterward so the flavor will last longer. The other food I crave? Broccoli!
November 30, 2006
How many things can change in the course of months! I scarce know where to begin, but next week we will be moving back to Oklahoma…a dream has become a reality, yet it has happened so quickly I have had trouble swallowing it. We do know now that our little baby is a boy, a firstborn son. Even now I can feel him moving inside me. Wethinks we will call him Gideon.
Chris and I nearly died today trying to get a dolly with two huge boxes of books downstairs and into the moving van. Before we had made it down the first step, we knew we were in trouble; it was too heavy to maneuver back onto the landing OR to proceed down the stairs without sliding down them full-speed…and full-force! And so we were just suspended there on the first step. Chris held onto the dolly with all his might, and I held onto the banister with one hand and a strap connected to the dolly with the other as I encouraged him in his ear with “What are we going to do Chris? This is awful. I told you to take the elevator. What are we going to do?!”” His shoes had no tread, the stairs were slicker than all get out, our hands and legs were shaking with exertion, and we were about to let the boxes go and let them fly down the stairs and into the wall when we heard voices from the floor below. We yelled “Help!” and two seminary employees assisted us. I nearly had a heart attack! Moving to Oklahoma when you are six months pregnant is a bad choice.
Today was our Christmas tea party for my beloved niece Abigail. It was quite beautiful, all glistening and pink and dainty, but I have decided what I look like when I try to dress up now that I’m pregnant ~ an elephant ballerina in a pink tutu. Cute, maybe, but…not pretty.
January 20, 2007
I can feel Gideon moving inside me…who is this little one? What changes will he bring? May he be a compassionate fellow ~ that is my prayer for him; that he will defend the helpless and love the elderly. And dear Lord may he never break our hearts. I hope my belly has made him a good home and that when we meet one another for the first time, face to face, he will feel more at home than ever. What a strange world we live in, that the body of a silly girl can house something as precious as a baby. You know we planned this and all…but I can’t believe it’s happening to me!
I was lying in bed last night thinking about how I might rearrange all of Mom and Dad’s DVDs into categories and then into alphabetical order. Then I decided I would take all the pictures out of their picture frames and organize them in a box…but then I didn’t know what I would do with the picture frames. I do believe I have started the nesting phase…
Mom is so good to me! She gives me a daily pedicure so my feet will not be so disgusting at the hospital, she makes my breakfast, she prepares nutritious snacks for me throughout the day…maybe moving to Oklahoma when you are six months pregnant is a good choice after all!
February 6, 2007
I am growing so large that I am terrified at what the next two months will bring. I am afraid that pregnancy is a great challenge to my vanity…and I so much want to be a grown-up about this, like the ladies who thrive in their pregnant skin, glorying in the fact that their dear child is making them the size of a prize-winning watermelon on legs. But alas…all I see is the watermelon!
Mom talked me into getting out of the house today and going to Cracker Barrel. She said it would be good for me and she assured me that I looked so pretty. We were in line for a table – the host bent down to get some menus and on straightening saw my belly. His eyes became huge and he said “You are pregnant.” I laughed a little and he said, “No I mean you are pregnant. There’s not just one in there – you’re having twins, right?” I assured him through gritted teeth that there was indeed only “one in there.” He didn’t get the hint, though, and continued expressing his shock over my largeness all the way to our table. Ruined my breakfast! (for a lengthened telling of this story, see https://mrsgoresdiary.wordpress.com/2011/04/09/small-elephant-scrapes-the-bottom-of-the-barrel-literally/)
My Mom and I were in the shoe section of Dillard’s when I saw them – a pair of $300 knee-high Frye cowboy boots with a 3-inch heel that had been on my Anthropologie wishlist for months. I rushed over to them just so I could hold them in my arms for a minute, knowing they were too expensive to buy. But then I saw the sale price. I knew they wouldn’t have my size…but they did! I started to shake with delirium. When I went to try them on, however, my foot only made it halfway down the calf of the boot before getting stuck. I began to sweat. I pushed and pushed while Mom patted my back and two salesladies coached me on how to put them on, but I couldn’t bend over because of the enormous belly between me and my foot. Finally, they each took me by an arm and helped me to stand up into the boot, successfully shoving my foot into one and then the other. Oh, they fit alright, but I wasn’t telling how tight they were. I proceeded to take them off so I could purchase them and go find a place to cool off…but them boots weren’t budging! Here came the sweat again, but try as I may, I could not even begin to get them off. So one of my sales friends had mercy on me and grabbed a hold of my foot and pulled with all her might while I held fast to the arms of my chair, and finally off they flew. Mom thought a breakdown was imminent, but truly, the entire situation didn’t phase me. My boots are sitting on the top shelf of my closet and we will get reacquainted this fall when my feet are no longer clubs and my ankles are no longer waterlogged.
I have just been struck with fear realizing how far away we are from the hospital. What if I get stuck out here and have to give birth on the farm?! If I feel even a hint of labor coming on, we’re moving to Matt and Kaci’s house in Tulsa. I hope they don’t mind.
Chris and I went to our first Lamaze class tonight. For whatever reason, they had us watch a live birth video, and it showed…everything. Chris looked over at me to see that I had my hand over my face (which had a horrified expression on it) peeking at the TV through my fingers. He got onto me for being childish which got me tickled and I could not stop giggling…which with only 8 other people in the room is very difficult to hide. He was mortified. But I just have never seen anything like that and thought it was quite vulgar. And funny. And absolutely terrifying.
To be continued…