In my last post, I shared some principles that are motivating me to simplify our home and our lives…

Today, I want to share with you some practical tips that are helping me accomplish my decluttering goals, but I have to be honest first: I’m just now getting there. For instance, this is our living room…

It has been pared down and simplified to bare bones and is a DREAM to keep clean. In five minutes, I can completely tidy the room up, and that includes sweeping.

This, on the other hand, was the hallway outside of our kids’ nursery, taken after I removed every toy, blanket and extra article of clothing that was littering their floor and piled it up for sifting and sorting…

Night…mare. But I received a shipment of pretty storage containers shortly thereafter, and this room is being completely defeated. I promise to finish it, and I promise to share my progress here!

I share that to assure you that I am learning these things right alongside you, and that I am most certainly not an expert. However, I am determined to grow, I am determined to develop a better attitude of hospitality and servitude in my home, and I am passionate about encouraging you in your journey, as well.

And so here are my personal tips for getting rid of the excess that already resides in your home:

1. Make sure you are sufficiently motivated.

This might seem redundant in light of my last post, but it’s foundational: the most important tools for defeating bad habits and giving up worldly excess are godly motivation and biblical principles. Until I have an eternal purpose for doing things, I have trouble really caring much or persevering.

2. Read housekeeping blogs and articles and do what they say.

Most of the things I’m doing in my home were not my original material and have most likely been gleaned from others. Some books and blogs that have helped me along the way:

• Simple Country Wisdom: 501 Old-fashioned Ideas to Simplify Your Life. I love this book, not only for its charm, but for the common sense that is found within its pages. Click on the picture to find it at Amazon:

• Living Well Spending Less: I have only just discovered this blog, but I am already a huge fan and am finding guidance and encouragement for my clutter-conquering journey, as well as a good dose of transparency.
• The Time-Warp Wife: Another blog I have only recently discovered, I LOVE the faith-based principles that serve as its foundation, as well as all the handy (and cute!) printables and charts. I can’t wait to read and learn more!
• The Fly Lady: I came across this blog from my internet friend, Leslie. It is chock-full of tips and help, not only for decluttering, but for cleaning and developing good homemaking habits.

You would do well to learn from these ladies, each of them far more experienced than I am when it comes to housekeeping and decluttering. They will cover all the important steps for you, and now I’ll just share a few things I have personally picked up along the way…

3. Make lists.

Before you start, make itemized lists of what you really need and intend to keep, and be determined to get rid of what is not on the list. With my list in hand, I knew going into my kids closet exactly how many sets of playclothes and pajamas I intended to keep, how many toys they would be allowed to keep, how many pairs of shoes they needed for church and play…

Preparing beforehand when you are not actually looking at your stuff helps you to be objective.

4. Try to find time to declutter alone.

It is nigh until impossible to sift through excess when you have little hands and voices nearby, and I have found that this kind of work is best done when my children are out of the house. Don’t have any baby-sitters available? Do a work swap with one of your friends. She’ll keep your kids one day so you can work, and then you can return the favor.

5. If you don’t have adequate time to completely finish a phase of sorting, don’t even start.

I can’t tell you how many times I have randomly started going through a drawer or a toy box, organized everything into piles…and then it’s time to start supper. Or the kids wake up from their naps. Or I just run out of steam. When I return the next day to finish the job, it has been scattered to high heaven, and all of my work is left undone. Thus, I have learned to schedule my decluttering, and I no longer start jobs I know I can’t finish.

6. Enlist a helper.

Two are better than one, and while I personally find more success when I declutter alone, some of you might need a buddy. For instance, my Mom has a lot of trouble getting rid of things because, once she holds an item in her hands, she immediately wants to keep it. Now that she has enlisted me as her sifting buddy, though, I hold her clothes up for her from across the room, and she can objectively decide if it is something she needs to keep or not. In other words, do whatever it takes to conquer your excess…even if it looks a little like an intervention.

7. The cardinal rule: if you don’t love it or use it, get rid of it.

There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, this is the best way to determine what you should keep and what you shouldn’t. Stop holding on to the things that don’t make your heart go pitter-patter. (Important side note: this rule ONLY applies to things, not people…). My husband and I just narrowed down our movie library to the truly defining and timeless ones, transforming our entertainment center into a treasure trove of films rather than a place where we store all the cheap movies we’ve bought over the years. It’s crazy what a difference these sorts of simple changes can make in your home, bringing meaning and fluidity into what was just random and pointless and hoard-ish before.

8. Make designated piles.

Sometimes it can be so overwhelming when you are staring at a mountain of stuff and you don’t know what to do with it; narrowing your items down to “keep” or “don’t keep” can be impossible. So create specific piles (or bags…or empty diaper boxes…), and be as creative with them as you want to be.  Here are some I frequently employ:

• Keepsakes – some things just need to be kept, and that’s okay. Put them in a safe box and store them forever in your attic and let your kids deal with them after you die.
• Family, Friends or Church Nursery – I often remove toys and play-clothes from our house and take them to my Mom’s where all the grandkids can enjoy them…and oftentimes, our kids are much happier giving up their toys when they know they’ll be going to someone they love. This is also true of the church nursery, a perfect home for your excess (but not junky!) toys, books, outgrown diapers, and play clothes, for those times when kids at church have ‘accidents’. I have a friend who used to take her son’s stained or outgrown playclothes to the local daycare for that same reason, and I thought that was such a good idea!
• Purgatory – I have learned the hard way that my children either completely forget about crafts they made or junky toys they’ve acquired…or they ask for them out of the blue and I discover that they loved that item more than anything ever in the entire world and now I’m the bad guy who threw it heartlessly away. Thus, rather than trashing those types of items immediately, I have a special box that I call “purgatory” where they can secretly hang out for a couple of months until I know for sure it is safe to send them out the back door. This box has served me VERY well.
• TRASH! (My favorite). So easy. So quick.
• Garage sale or Goodwill. I don’t keep a separate pile for Goodwill, because if is is not quality enough to sell, it is not quality enough to donate. If you wouldn’t sell it, trash it immediately. Goodwill (or anyone else) doesn’t need our t-shirts with the armpit stains. Then, whatever I don’t sell at our garage sales goes immediately (like, that day) to Goodwill or to someone else who could benefit from it. Just don’t under any circumstance bring that stuff back into your house!!!
• Consignment. I have a special section of my garage sales dedicated to consignment quality clothes, with firm and appropriate prices. It is easier to give up quality clothes that I don’t wear when I know I might be properly compensated for them. Or you could make it even easier and actually take them to a consignment store! (I just like cutting out the middleman…)

Your piles might look completely different than mine, but…you get the point. Make lots of piles.

9. Declutter often.

Sad news. This kind of work doesn’t last as long as you think it will. You have to stay on top of it, and expect decluttering to be at least a monthly, if not a weekly, chore. Yay…

10. Put kids toys up. The higher the better.

Best thing I’ve ever done. Organize most of your kids toys into separate bins (with the exceptions of their stuffed animals and such), put them somewhere out of reach, and hold the key to what gets played with, when. The benefit of this is at least threefold: a) Their room stays clean, except for daily maintenance like making beds and putting away clothes, b) they actually play with the toys you get down for them rather than getting everything out at one time and wandering around aimlessly in the wreckage (I know you know what I’m talking about!), and c) more often than not, they wind up using their imaginations instead of relying on toys for entertainment. And guess what? You don’t have to clean up after imaginations! Just when I was looking for the courage to take this step, I came across this blog post: Why I Took My Kids Toys Away (and why they won’t get them back). And I have to concur with everything the author says: this really works, and our entire family has profited from it.

~

Again, nothing new or revolutionary here, but if it any of the above tips help you in your decluttering process, I will be so pleased. And if you have any tips or ideas or blog posts to share with us, please do so in the comments section – we’d love to hear from you!

Coming up soon in the “My Sweet Home” series…”Junk Be Gone: When You Live with a Hoarder”

It should also be noted that Baby Betsie threw up a couple of hours after this photo shoot, which immediately explained her uncooperative behavior and her notable absence from most of these photos.

Oh! And it should ALSO be noted that my nieces were having their pictures taken that day, too, hence the cousin photo at the end of this post.

Today, I want to share with you some things that are helping me tackle this problem, but after some serious thought, I’ve decided to break this list up into two parts: in my next post, I’ll share practical ideas for how we are paring down the excess that already lives in our home. Today, however, I’ll be discussing principles for keeping the excess out in the first place…

Before you bring things home:

1. Make wishlists.

I know this seems counter-productive, but believe me, it works: set up an online account at your favorite stores and make detailed lists of what you’d like. I have a list for each of my children, for homeschool, for my personal wishes, for our house, our yard, our wardrobes, our library…pretty much everything! “How does that possibly help with excess?” you ask? Simply this: it prioritizes my spending and challenges me to think about the things I’m buying rather than nickel-and-diming my budget away when I’m out and about. I now rarely buy things unless they are on my list. That means when we are at the grocery store, I buy groceries. That’s it. And the only way I will ever buy a book from the bargain bin at the bookstore is if it is already on my list at Amazon; otherwise, I pass those tempting sale aisles by, at any store. You have to ask yourself: would I rather buy these 5 discounted books that I’ve never heard of, or the 1 hardcover book that would add to my collection of Junior Illustrated Classics? Would I rather buy 3 of these inexpensive shirts that match nothing in my daughter’s closet or get her that one complete outfit on her list that I know she’ll wear and will hold up well?

The only time I veer from this principle is when I am at an antique store or among one-of-a-kind products, but even there, I try to exercise great caution and refrain from grabbing stuff just because I like it. I think the fastest way to deplete your budget and bring stuff into your home that you don’t need is to shop without thinking first.

Wishlists are also very helpful, in that, when your young kids are dying to buy at toy or a book when you’re out running errands, you can say, “We’ll add that to your list when we get home and maybe you’ll get it for your birthday.” It has to be a really special day for us to buy a toy on a non-holiday…little indulgences like that pile up fast, especially when you start adding multiple children to your home.

2. Stay home.

A really great way to bring a bunch of stuff into your house is to frequent places where stuff is sold. Those trips to the mall where you just meander around all day, going in and out of every store, will pretty much ensure that you’ll come home with bags of excess that you don’t need. And its funny…everytime I go to Anthropologie, I realize that there are at least 10 new items that I feel like I can’t live without. Staying home pretty much completely solves this problem.

3. Realize that you are a marketing target.

I used to see shopping as a quest where I could use my prowess and be a mighty hunter of great bargains and deals, but when it began to dawn on me that I was less hunter and more prey, it took a bit of the sparkle out of my shopping adventures. I could no longer view those $5 movie bins at Wal-Mart as just happenstance, but saw them for what they really were: a marketer’s snare to catch me and entice me to spend hard-earned money on things I didn’t need.

This knowledge has given me the discernment to look past that pretty packaging and see a bar of plain ol’ soap, and to pass up every “clearance sale” and “buy 3-get-1-free” promotion that catches my eye. I tote home far less “bargains” and “treasures” as a result, thank God!

And don’t even get me started on outlet malls…

4. Likewise, protect your children from consumerism.

I used to love, love, love poring over the J.C. Penney Holiday Wishbook, circling anything that called out to me as I made birthday and Christmas lists galore. Thus, when he was just a toddler, I was so excited to introduce my son to his first toy catalogue. But even though his eyes lit up at the pretty pages and he enthusiastically circled toy after toy as he kept himself occupied for about 30 minutes, the entire experience surprisingly left me a little saddened…

Because what had I really just introduced him to? Pages and pages of unimportant stuff that lit a fire of desire in his little heart. Since that time, the conviction has grown that I need to work at sheltering my kids from commercials, catalogues and even stores that would awaken in their hearts a longing for the unending supply of worldly goods available to us today. I must guard their hearts, even as I work at guarding mine, and teach them where true joy and fulfillment is found.

6. Change your gift-buying and gift-giving mentality.

My husband has really helped me with this one. I used to buy such-and-such amounts of gifts for this-and-this-and-this-and-this holiday because that’s they way things were done. Mr. Gore, however, is an objective thinker and never does things “just because”, which has led us to this point: as our budget allows, we buy special things for the ones we love to show them love, whenever we want or whenever we see something that makes us think of them. That means that we might buy one really special present for a loved one for her birthday, but if nothing strikes us, we don’t just go to Bath and Body Works and grab something for $20 so she’ll have something to open. Replace hastily bought and unthoughtful gifts like that with perishable gifts like flowers or baked goods, things that will be enjoyed but that won’t add to the piles of stuff in your house or in the homes of your loved ones. Even our tiny little daughters are so thrilled to receive a little bouquet of flowers on special occasions…it makes them feel loved, and that’s the point, right?

This is really important when it comes to filling up Christmas stockings and Easter baskets or when purchasing little sibling gifts on birthdays. Refrain from just buying nonsensical filler, again, opting for perishable goods such as special candies or fruits, or even better, practical things, like cool new toothbrushes or underwear or a Chick-fil-a giftcard or pretty pencils for school. I gave my daughter some special undershirt/panty sets in her stocking this year, and I think it was her favorite gift of the season. Those little cheap toys that call out to us at holiday time are just absolutely the worst thing to bring into our homes.

Just ask the nightmare that awaits me upstairs…

6. Likewise, change your gift-receiving mentality.

Just because it is a gift, doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever. Gifts are supposed to make you feel loved. So take a moment, a couple of months, even, to feel that love, and then decide…do I want to keep this? Sometimes the answer is a resounding “yes!” and you know in your heart you will keep it for the rest of your life. But sometimes the answer can be no. You have to be discerning here, and you should always keep a grateful heart, but don’t feel like you have to keep things around for the rest of your life just because someone gave it to you.

This is especially true when you are getting married or having baby showers. You will likely receive a mountain of stuff from friends and family. Keep the things you love and will use, and exchange the rest for gift cards. I know that seems harsh, but remember what you’re working toward in taming the excess in your home: hospitality… comfort… organization… peace… again, this calls for discernment and tact, but for the most part, your loved ones are giving you gifts to help you, and they won’t have  a problem with you exchanging or returning them.

My personal rule of thumb is to keep at least one thing I really love from the people I really love, things that suit me while reminding me of them. Otherwise, I feel pretty free to eventually let those things go.

7. Examine your lifestyle and your motives for living the way you do.

Hoarding (and I’m not talking, like, “Hoarders” hoarding, but typical American hoarding) is not necessarily an innocent personality trait. In many cases, it points to something deeper. A root of sin, even. Some of us may be living like this world is our home, storing up as many treasures as possible. Some of us may be making idols out of possessions, acquiring more and more and more because it makes us feel good and excited and momentarily fulfilled. Some of us may make more out of ourselves than others, spending all of our extra money on our own homes and families without looking for ways to share it.

These tendencies must be uprooted and repented of, and then replaced with things that are good and true and eternal.

And then some of us might just have that Depression-era attitude that says “keep everything because you might need it someday.” But I told my Mama this, and now I’ll tell you: we aren’t living in the Depression. And while it was a good rule at the time that you should keep your floursacks because you might need them to make dresses, more often than not, Americans today need to do a lot less keeping and a lot more tossing (and there are so many ways to “toss” without adding trash to the heap – we’ll go over some of that in my next post). My personal rule, and one you’ll find in almost any blog post or article on organization: if you don’t love it or use it, get rid of it.

8. Stop being thoughtless.

But then much of our excessive lifestyles are simply nothing more than a failure to think about what we are doing. We are on some sort of  twisted, commercialized American autopilot, and we never consider whether we need to be or not…

We have such-and-such amount of things because everyone else does. We buy cards and gifts on this day because it is a holiday! We have a son and so we need legos and cars and dinosaurs and armymen and Lincoln Logs and erector sets and a train and baseball gear and football gear and basketball gear and building blocks and toy tools and cowboy stuff, and we have a girl and so we need at least 3 baby dolls and baby doll clothes and diaper bags and a stroller and a toy kitchen and tea sets and pretend food and dishes and cooking sets and aprons and a dollhouse and stuffed animals and dress-up clothes and 50 hairbows and 20 plastic strands of beads and some Barbies, and we have a homeschool and so we need stacks of construction paper and lined paper and unlined paper and cardstock and posterboard and crayons and markers and colored pencils and watercolors and fingerpaints and play-doh and boxes of safety scissors and 500 books and…

oh. my. gosh. When are we ever going to stop?!

It would behoove all of us to put on the brakes and free ourselves from this never-ending cycle of consumption. For more, I highly recommend reading Jen Hatmaker’s “7: an experimental mutiny against excess”. Warning: it will probably change your life.

9. Use history as a measuring stick.

Just ask my husband. I am kind of obsessed with comparing our lives today with those who have walked before us. But even though I get carried away sometimes, it has served me well, allowing me to objectively see the world while helping me to realize that I don’t have to buy into every aspect of our culture today.

Let me explain: realizing that life and love existed for centuries before ours and that those people survived (and possibly thrived) on far less than we do gives me the confidence to let go of the indulgent and dangerous lifestyle that America constantly parades before my eyes. Most of our forerunners had hundreds-less toys. No television or movies. Zero electronics. A handful of outfits, probably. Two or three pairs of shoes, at the most. A few oft-read books, perhaps…

I’m not saying that I want to live like a pioneer or a pauper, but my goal in decluttering is to keep my favorites (and even indulge in a few luxuries!) while freeing my family and my own heart from the pressing weight of an excessive lifestyle. The sooner, the better!

10. Use a pared-down lifestyle to preach the gospel.

A life in Christ enables us, in a world where we could “have it all” to say “no thanks. I have everything I need.” What an unprecedented opportunity we have to display our set-apartness. Let us show by our spending, our collecting, and our acquiring that this world has not bewitched us, and that we can enjoy the pleasures afforded us without becoming their slaves.

I think, more than any of the other principles listed here, this one excited me the most.

~

Oh, my dear readers, what an earful that was! But if it encourages any of you to take that first step toward breaking free from an excessive lifestyle, I will feel it was time well spent. I wrote this especially for my young mamas and wives and graduates just starting out in this world in the hopes that you will employ these principles early on, saving yourself a lot of frustration  in the future! I’m rooting for you, with all my heart.

Want to remember this? Pin it!

The #1 problem facing housekeepers today has to be (drumroll, please!)…clutter. Overconsumption. Excess.

In an unprecedented age of convenience and innovation, the American homemaker should have it so easy…

key word: should.

We throw dirty dishes into a machine and push a button to wash them. We do the same with our laundry. We have airtight windows and doors, keeping more dust out of our houses than ever before. And cooking can be as easy or as difficult as we want to make it.

But we also have an unprecedented problem…

Junk galore.

Knick-knacks in every available space.

Stuff everywhere.

Toys.

Toys.

Toys.

Toys.

Toys.

Did I mention ‘toys’?…

Whether we intend for it to happen or not, the modern American family is the recipient (and usually also the pursuer) of unending goods, and even if we’re trying to keep our spending and our consumption to a minimum, there is so much stuff floating around out there that we end up with it in our houses anyway. Gifts. Hand-me-downs. Osmosis, maybe?…

All of which can be blessings (except for osmosis…I actually don’t even know what that is so I don’t know if it is a blessing), but if we don’t learn to master them, they can positively enslave us.

Slowly, I am becoming aware that, the less stuff we have, the happier we are.

The less stuff we have, the more time we spend together as a family.

And the less stuff we have, the cleaner our house stays. Even when it’s dirty…

Because I’m really not looking anymore to have a spotless house. My floors will not always be shining, because I have 3 children who drool and spill and drop raisins and Cheerios and track in mud and dirt and grass nonstop. I’ve come to grips with the fact that a perfectly shining house just isn’t in the stars for me right now. But regardless of how young our kids are or how many we have or how dirty they keep our floors, we can have a neat house…

and let’s face it, we have to be able to walk through our rooms, and the fact that we can’t sometimes is a ridiculous situation that we have created of our own accord. And you know that whole routine of freaking out when someone unexpectedly knocks on the door because the house is a wreck? It is becoming less and less acceptable to me.

Because of this reason alone: I’ve been convicted that this sort of lifestyle doesn’t seem to mesh with the biblical call of hospitality. How can we have open homes and lives when we are appalled for anyone to see them? How can our own children feel comfortable in their house when they are tripping over toys with every step they take?

Something’s got to give, Mrs. Gore!

And so I wanted to share some tips with you over how I am defeating, room by room, this seemingly epic problem. My goal in decluttering is that, by truly simplifying our life, I will take full advantage of the ease afforded to a homemaker in my position today, using all that spare time that my dishwasher gives me to read to my kids or do something truly useful, rather than forever finding hidey-holes for the massive amounts of junk we have. What a waste of time and energy, spending it all on things that are flammable and fleeting.

It is a never-ending and sometimes exhausting process, but it has already been well worth my time, thought and perseverance.

However, to keep this post from being twenty thousand words long, I’ll have to share that list with you in my next post.

When it comes to words, I will obviously continue to be excessive.

But until then, be mulling some things over, won’t you?…

Do you spend a frustrating amount of time putting things away that aren’t really useful to your family?

If someone walked into your house right now, would you be embarrassed?

Are you a slave to your possessions, or master? 

Are your children slaves to their possessions?

Think about the time you dedicate each day to housework. How much of that time is spent simply putting things away? 

~

Part Two, coming up…soon! Maybe tomorrow? Maybe not.

We sing it at the top of our lungs in our old gold minivan, and even Baby Betsie shouts out the “ho!” and “hey!” parts like a champ.

But watching the Lumineers perform live at the Grammy’s, I grew slightly suspicious and devastated as the camera cut to Taylor Swift singing along in the audience.

Why?

Because…

During my favorite part of the song – the chorus – where the band sings “I belong with you, you belong with me, in my sweet home…”, Taylor, who I am confident is very proficient in memorizing popular song lyrics, was clearly singing “I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart” as she made a heart shape around her heart.

And I knew…

I had the lyrics wrong.

A quick internet search proved this to be true, and I now know that this song is talking about young, unrequited love, and not me and my husband and our kids and our little white farmhouse on the hill.

Bummer.

But then I decided that, since I will never be on the stage or in the audience of the Grammy’s, I can sing the song however I darn well please.

And so I have made it our banner song once more, and I sing it at the top of my lungs and with all the love in my heart…

I belong with you,

You belong with me,

In my sweet home…

There is nothing sweeter than the comforts of home, is there? I grew up in an extremely home-y home. My Mom is gifted at making others feel loved and comfortable, and when I still walk into her house today, my heart relaxes with me, and I feel like I can take on the world.

Though much younger and less experienced than she, this is what I strive to do in my own house today.

Make it a home.

Make it a place where my kids feel brave and content and whole.

But that’s just it…

These things don’t happen naturally or of their own accord, and you can’t be a home-maker without the making; neither can you produce a place of warmth and love by sitting on your bum all day, blogging and eating onion rings. (Sorry, that’s just my guilt talking. I ate one too many…).

I will admit, it took me a few years to get over the fact that I am no longer the recipient of all the home-making and am now the home-maker, but I have found that, though the work is nonstop and very taxing, the entire family benefits from the hard work of my hands and my mind, including…me!

When the house is tidy, and when there are tokens of beauty and love surrounding us, I feel serene and content and happy to be here. On the other hand, when things are a mess and I have been lax in my duties and nothing is organized, well, I feel crummy and uninspired and my attitude pretty much matches my house.

All that to say, homemaking might be work, and it might be nonstop work, and it might be really taxing work, but…it is good work.

Tomorrow, I’ll begin periodically sharing with you some of my favorite components of our home, and some tips I’ve picked up in my 8 years as a homemaker. Some are tiny and obvious, some are sizable and profound, and some would never be noticed if I didn’t take a picture and blog about it.

But together, they are beginning to make  a seamless and fitting backdrop to the place where we live, move, breathe, eat, play, work and sleep.

Our sweet home.

mostly because of the state of my heart.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have bratty tendencies, and it is no secret that I love compliments and feeling important. I used to think this was just “how I was” and I even kind of cherished that part of me and thought it was cute…

but once I became aware that this inherent nature of mine was rooted in sinfulness and pride, it didn’t feel so cute anymore.

Mind you, this was not always my motivation for doing what I did and wearing what I wore and buying what I bought. Even on my least bratty and most humble days, I have always loved beautiful things, and I love fine fabrics and I identify with Betsie Ten Boom, in that, if I were to find myself in a prison camp, I would do whatever it took to decorate my cell. I see no problem with this shade of my personality, and actually see it as a gift from God; that said (and this is where what could be beautiful can turn ugly)…

I can sometimes feel myself veering off course and caring more about receiving accolades than glorifying my Maker. You know…my chief end. The reason I’m here. What I was created for.

God has had mercy on my sinful state, however, and over the last decade, He has continually tweaked me into a person who at least hates that side of myself rather than revels in it, and more and more, I try to put a lid on the brat in me and lock her up inside my coat closet where no one can see or hear her.

Especially when it comes to this blog. It is so important to me that what I share here is genuine and I take extremely seriously my responsibility to the younger women in my church, my readership, and eventually my children (who will be forced to read Mrs. Gore’s Diary for their 12th year of homeschool), and I therefore doggedly strive to keep my motivations for writing and sharing pure and honest and, most importantly, God-honoring. Thus, if I feel like I’m sharing party pictures to be a show-off rather than a help to other party-planners, I shut that post down, as quickly as I do the ones where I find myself ranting or spewing bitterness about past struggles. And if I don’t, my husband (who graciously edits everything I write) does. (Thanks, Mr. Gore!)

Alllllll that to say, I haven’t felt 100% free until now to share, from a pure and happy and non-show-offy heart, aspects of our home life that might inspire other homemakers.

Why? Well…I’m 31 now, and I haven’t changed my razor in like, 8 months. My house is most usually a wreck and I have finally come to grips with who I truly am and what I was truly created for. In other words, I’m content right now where I am, and have lost most of my former self-absorbed aspirations to BE somebody and to make it to some unforeseen tier of importance and acceptance.

I am happy at home, and I’m happy to be Mrs. Gore, whether thousands of people ever recognize my name or not.

From this place of genuine motivation, I find myself making a living place for my family rather than for the editors of Country Living magazine, and as a result, I think what I have to share will be much more important than it ever could have been when I was trying to make much ado out of Mrs. Gore.

And allllll that to say, there will be a new tab in my blog called “My Sweet Home” where I will share ideas and tips and photographs of how I try to make the house we live in a place of retreat and rest and comfort. It will be positively random, but if it helps especially my younger audience, just starting out in this world with a tiny budget to work with and with no idea how to keep a house, I will be too, too happy.

~

Coming up tomorrow, I’ll share why I call this series “My Sweet Home”. Is it because my home is “sweet” and beautiful?…probably not. Stay tuned!!

The way she lifted her legs in perpendicular fashion as I lifted her out of the bathtub let me know that the way we do bathtime has become routine to her…

Laying a clean, full-sized towel completely out across the bathmat, I always set her down “just so” on her bottom before pulling the back part of the towel up to her neck and then wrapping the rest of it over her shoulders and around her arms. I finish up by swaddling her little legs, feet, and toes, patting her dry as I go.

Once she looks like a little terrycloth burrito, I grasp her by her towel-covered arms, and, lifting her up into my left arm and perching her on my hip, I hold her legs in a sitting position with my right arm.

We go straight to the bathroom vanity where she says “Hi, baby!” to her reflection in the mirror, her hair a riot of wet, dripping curls, her smile exuberant, her skin glowing with health and cleanliness. I then carry her into my bedroom where a laundered set of clothes awaits her on the bed next to a new diaper, Johnson’s baby lotion, and a brush.

This is our routine, and we could both probably perform it with our eyes closed.

She is used to being bathed, my little one, having the yogurt washed out of her hair, the dirt washed out of her fingernails, the living washed out of her day…

She is used to being wrapped up and dried, cuddled and loved, lotioned and combed, diapered and groomed.

She is used to being dressed in fresh, clean clothes.

Just like she is used to raising her legs just right to land on her towel.

And I realized as I dried her today that, what might feel like routine to me…or even sometimes drudgery, if I’m being honest…says something monumental about her life, as well as my role as her mother…

and that, while bathtime is such a common ritual for us that she knows how to hold her body when she emerges from the tub, the very essence of our routine says something.

Something big. Something important. Something eternal.

Because her simplest routines contrast so deeply with those of children all over this fallen world. They have routines, too…

Rocking themselves to sleep at night in orphanages with too many babies and not enough workers.

Hiding food in their highchairs to make sure there will be enough for their next meal.

Moving from foster home to foster home, different bed, different rituals, different guardians.

Pulling dirty and wrinkled clothes out of a pile before dressing themselves and going to school.

Eating whatever they can dig up in the pantry or whatever someone will give them for free.

Getting on a church van to attend worship and learning about who made them from strangers rather than family.

Bearing their own fears and burdens with no one to talk to, no one to comfort them, no one to guide them.

And it should never be lost on me that, in many ways, one of the simplest and most obvious differences between those children and my little girl who sticks her legs up when I lift her out of the bathtub is…me.

The world can very much disparage and downplay the calling of motherhood, and sometimes I am the first one to listen, forgetting that this full-time job I have of caring for children who would be helpless without me is kind of huge, and that, while I may not be changing the world as I prepare their breakfast…

I have at least changed theirs.

When my children are clean, it is because I’ve bathed them. When they are full, it is because I have fed them. When they sing a song from memory, it is because I have sang to them so often that the words have imprinted themselves on their brains. When they are wearing  clean and pressed clothes, it is because I have washed and ironed them. And when they learn how to walk those ancient paths of truth, it will hopefully be because, aided by the Spirit and covered by grace, they are following behind me and their Papa.

The things I do as a mother all day, every day, might be simple gestures…

making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich…

singing hymn after hymn until they fall asleep…

telling them who made the flowers and the rocks and the trees and the sky…

reading them a story…

cleaning up their vomit…

buying them healthy food at the grocery store…

bandaging the tiny cut that made them cry…

taking the time to really listen to them while they talk…

getting the stains out of their clothes…

but they are gospel gestures.

And it hit me with beautiful and convicting clarity today that any amount of passion I have for the sanctity of human life, any compassion I feel for the orphaned or the abused or the hurting, any desire I will ever have to bring the good news to a lost and dying world…

well, it starts here.

At bedtime.

At breakfast, lunch and supper time.

At reading time.

At bathtime.

At home.

And while it may not always feel like I’m doing anything really important in the world and while there are days that I entertain the notion that my life is pretty mundane and that my college degree was a huge waste of time and money, I need to periodically remind myself that I’m doing something pretty big.

And so are you…

Remember that the next time you pull your baby out of the bath and she knows what to do with her legs.

But five minutes into the movie, I was silently crying. And not the kind of cry where one tear leaks out during the sentimental scene of a movie, but the kind where your shoulders are shaking and you’re working really hard to get a grip before your husband notices. “What’s wrong me with me?!” I thought…

Is it the story of the demoted general that set me off?…

or the nostalgia of watching one of my favorite movies one day before Christmas Eve, our beautifully lit Christmas tree in my peripheral vision?…

No.

Turns out I was pregnant and didn’t know it.

But, hormonal fluctuations aside, my tears were actually stemming from something else entirely, and it only took a few seconds of introspection to figure it out.

I have a longtime love for classic movies, dating back to my 12th year when I first saw June Allyson in the 1949 version of “Little Women” at my Aunt Myrtle’s house. Until that day, I knew very little about the treasure trove of “old” movies available for our viewing pleasure today, but five minutes into that sweet little version of one of my favorite books, I was a goner, and silly as it sounds, my life was forever changed.

As soon as we returned home from our trip, my Mom and I hunted down my own copy of the movie, a VHS tape that I still have today, and my home collection of classic films has consistently grown since that time, as has my appreciation for an era that I had previously had very little knowledge of. Nearly 20 years later, our musical playlists are full of tunes from Bing, Doris, Frank, Gene, and Judy (but my favorites are Bing and Doris), my clothes are almost always a nod to my vintage sisters, our life is often a throwback to another era, and you’ll more likely find my children watching “Yankee Doodle Dandy” than any show on Disney Jr. (mostly because we don’t have cable…).

And I think I might be in love with Gary Cooper (via Seargent York). Sighhh…

When the calendar hits 1960 is when Mrs. Gore and all of her love for nostalgia dies, but until that cultural shift takes place, you’ll find my heart. I love the clothes. I love the tunes. I love the backdrops and the technicolor and the “special” effects. I love the time.

But the reason I was crying today had very little to do with my love for old movies…

and everything to do with my love for the people those old movies bring to mind.

You see, part of the reason I love a classic film is that, when I watch it, there is something so familiar about it…

I know these people.

I recognize the cadence of their voices…

the way they hold themselves…

their manners…

their humor…

their little bitty waists…

their houses and their furnishings and their wardrobes…

and guess what? Many of them are still among us.

Their hair is grey now and more wiry than before, their eyes are hidden behind thick glasses, and their gait is measured where it once was spry, but there is no denying the fact that the era that those classic films represents is still very much alive today.

And these are my people.

I see many of them every week at church.

They are gentle and kind.

They aren’t vulgar.

They dress like ladies and gentleman, and their actions match their clothes.

And, like the soldiers singing “We’ll Follow the Old Man” in White Christmas, many of them were off being heroes during WWII, fighting one of the greatest villains the world has ever known, spending Christmases away from their families, and writing love letters to the same spouses they are with today.

And it just hits me every once in awhile (like it did that day watching “White Christmas”) that we are still rubbing shoulders with the “greatest generation”. We sit among heroes. The very thought of it will make a lady put her head in her hands and weep, whether she is pregnant or not.

Many of these precious people don’t understand our culture today, and if they seem quiet or stand-offish, I think they are probably just at a complete loss as to how they can engage such a foreign group of young folks. Or perhaps many of them think we don’t need or want them in our lives…

That’s why I want to encourage you today to take the first step and reach out to the elderly in your churches and in your community. Ask them questions about their past. Listen to them talk. Seek their guidance and advice. Pick up on their gentle humor.

I guarantee you that, in the course of your conversation, you’ll recognize the voices of Bing and Doris and Gary and Judy…

but you might also gain a wealth of wisdom, and perhaps some of the best friends you’ve ever had.

~

Me with one of my best friends in the world, Ms. Annette. Her friendship and wisdom enrich my life…

you are literally the best. (said in my best Chris Traeger voice).

So as I told you before, I had the party part of this party down – the menu, the decorations, the vibe – they all came together quite nicely (and thankfully, with little expense). And I knew we were going to have a “war”…

in fact, if you’ll remember, that was how I sold this party to my son in the first place. And I had made  a big, big deal about it. We talked about it nearly every day.

But secretly…I was stumped.

How in the world were we going to actually have this so-called war? With a group of Preschoolers, Kindergarteners and an 8-year old, no less…

So I did what any self-respecting female would do.

I dumped this part of the party on my unsuspecting husband, nonchalantly mentioning that I needed help with this one teensy little bit of the planning.

He accepted the challenge…

but then stalled for weeks.

Secretly, he was stumped, too.

And then, in a stroke of last-minute genius, he called me up with a full list of party game ideas for me to choose from (including the paper airplane activity we also did), and the minute he mentioned the following idea, I knew he had struck gold:

Operation: Rescue Abigail

(Abigail is Gideon’s eldest cousin and beloved friend)

Two teams: bad guys and good guys.

Adults on each team to help the kids.

One prisoner in distress.

Bad guy weapons: big marshmallows dipped in all-purpose flour.

Mission: rescue Abigail (or other prisoner) from the bad guys. If you get hit with a marshmallow (which leaves a huge flour mark on your clothes), you  have to run to the field hospital and get bandaged. Then you can return to the battle.

…

Could we all just give a round of applause to Mr. Gore for coming up with this awesome game? We played 2 or 3 rounds of it, and it was too. much. fun. Kids this age (at least in my house) love nothing more than tying people up and saving them, playing “doctor”, pretending to be good guys defeating bad guys…my husband somehow incorporated all of Gideon’s favorite pastimes into one awesome party game that made his little 6-year old heart soar. I couldn’t have been more pleased.

For older kids, a capture-the-flag type game would have been ideal, but this game perfectly suited our younger crowd. If you are planning a “war” or “army” party of your own, and have any more questions about the details of this game, please do so in the comments section. I will make sure to get back with you as soon as I get the chance.

Now how about some pictures?…

Gid was in character long before the party began…

Ready for battle, Katerbelle? Yes, SIR!

Mr. Gore led the kids in a few pre-battle drills to start off, lining them up…

and leading them in a rousing rendition of “I’m in the Lord’s Army”. This was a CHRISTIAN war party, mind you…

Attention!

jumping jacks…

Let’s do this thing.

Our pretty nurses had the hospital ready to go, eager to come to the aid of the wounded once the game commenced…

First prisoner: Abigail. And the fact that we played several variations of this game with different prisoners was because this fun-loving girl wasn’t content to just be a prisoner. She wanted in on the battle action, too! Her Daddy – the baddest of the bad guys – led her to a tree in the nearby woods to tie her up.

I now present to you…

Operation: Rescue Abigail, starring Mr. Gore – the goodest of the good guys – and his army of tiny soldiers!!!

they’ve been spotted and attacked! Run to the hospital! Quick!

our nurses sprang into action, doing their best to get the soldiers back to the front as soon as possible, giving each soldier a bandage and a candy pill…

but, with a little teamwork and perseverance, they did it! Good prevailed, and Abigail was rescued.

and the “good guys” felt like macho superstars.

Next battle…

Operation: Rescue the Birthday Boy. Mr. Gore was probably very glad to add a quick-as-lighting 8-year old to his team. He rallied his troops, gave them a few tips, and the 2nd battle began…

(sidenote: can anyone spot my Daddy in the next picture? This is why people use camouflage. It actually works!)

and lickety-split, Gideon was saved.

Then, in the scariest and most melodramatic battle of the night (our soldiers and nurses were taking dramatic liberties with the game by this time), our two hospital nurses were taken prisoner by the scariest bad guy in the woods…

Things got ugly for our soldiers during this battle…

but our field nurses were so brave and helpful in the face of duty…

reviving our soldiers on the spot so they could return to battle and save the hospital nurses!

which they did, right as dusk set in. The hospital nurses were a bit shaken up, but a quick stay at the hospital fixed them right up…

and I am happy to report that, by the end of all of our battles, every soldier was still accounted for, though they all looked a little more ragged than they had before…

Our rescue operations…and thus, the biggest part of my son’s party…had been a huge success.

~

A few more notes on our war party:

1. It dawned upon me and Amy both (sometimes we share a brain!) that an activity like this doesn’t have to be saved for a birthday party. This was just a super fun night for all the kids and families involved, and it would have been even easier to throw together if we hadn’t been trying to do birthday cake and presents and spend as much time as possible with the birthday boy. You could do this with so many different themes: spy games, princes and princesses, cowboys and outlaws…the possibilities are extensive. Then, on birthday party days, you could just kick back with your family, have a cake and a few gifts and call it a night. I’ll be mulling this over…

2. I also wanted to tell you that, by the end of the battles, all the kids were congregated at the hospital, playing their little hearts out. It looked like an ant hill. Which means that I will probably be setting up the hospital sometime soon for a fun play day. I’ll share more on that in the future!

3. Thank you again for indulging me for this week-long series and for all the sweet words you’ve shared. I love your comments and encouragement so much and thank God for you, always.

And good news – I have some VERY unbirthday blog posts coming up next week – stay tuned!

~

To read about all the ideas and products that went into this party, click here.

let’s get to the PARTY!!

~

For starters, my Daddy loaded a bunch of the kids up at the house and brought them down to the party in his electric Gator. They were so excited…

even though my Daddy looked like a scary freak. When he told me he was going to wear this camo facemask to the party, I was like ‘Cool! Gid will love it!”…but then when I saw him I was like “Dude. You have NO idea how scary you look…” Still yet…Gid DID love it, and it didn’t seem to traumatize any of the other children.

Booya. See the girl on the left there? A REAL nurse from the 1940′s come to our party. Or at least that’s what the kids thought…

And so this is the part of the blog where I need to stop for a minute to give HUGE props to Mackenzie, a beautiful, precious, sweet, kind, secretly hilarious (she’s so quiet but has the funniest dry wit in the world) young lady in our church. How many 16-year old’s would give up their Friday night to administer bandages and candy pills to a group of hyped-up little kids, faithfully wearing the nurse’s dress that you pulled out of your dress-up stash in the attic? Thankfully, I know at least one…

(and I thank God for her!)

Speaking of dress-up clothes, Amy made the coolest shirts for her girls (and one for the birthday boy!), using bleach. I wish I could instruct you further, but…that’s all I know. And it’s too late to call her. Amy, if you’re reading this, could you leave a comment at the bottom of this post and tell us how you made these awesome black party shirts?…

Once they arrived at the party site, we let the kids make and decorate paper airplanes. The plan was to then have a contest to see whose could fly the best, but it was wayyyyyy to windy…

this was still good busywork, though, and kept them happily occupied while we finished setting everything up.

My niece, Kate Belle just hanging out and…being Kate Belle. We love us some Kate Belle.

As the kids finished up their airplanes, Amy started working on their camo face paint…

I think this was probably Gid’s favorite part about the party. He is constantly donning costumes and playing different characters and to actually look like a soldier…

well, he probably didn’t realize it until it actually took place, but this must have been like a dream come true for him.

Which is what birthdays are all about, right?

The girls were a little…creative…with their facepaint. Anna is the prettiest soldier-kitten I’ve ever seen…

And please excuse me for a bit while I drown in some Rebekah Sunday cuteness.

My eldest daughter was born to be a nurse – she has been ministering to our family since before her 1st birthday (I’m not exaggerating), and when we decided to do the Red Cross field hospital, it was unanimous that she would help Mackenzie tend to our wounded soldiers. She ate it up! And I ate HER up! Please join me in a moment of appreciative silence as we observe the following series of pictures…

Sigh. I love her.

And time for another shout-out, this time to my amazing Grandmother, Janice. It was so special to have her visiting us during Gideon’s birthday, and it was an honor to have her working in our chow line during his party. By the way, she is an actual nurse – the best in the world – and was actually around during actual WWII. Let me know if you would like her autograph.

It is important to note that between the face painting and chow time, we had our first battle. I decided to share all of those pictures tomorrow in their own post, but you’ll notice that everyone is bandaged up and battle-worn now. And hungry!!!

My soldier-boy. SIX years old. (but I’m still baby-talking to him with my mind right now…goochie goo).

I interrupt the flow of this post to show you my wide-awake, always-happy, precious little nephew, Abel. If you want to pinch those little baby cheeks, you’re going to have to get in line…

And here he is, fast asleep. “Fatigued”. Amy…after you share your shirt tutorial, could you also tell us where you found that onesie? And then tell us the truth…how does it really feel to be a Supermom/aunt/sister-in-law?

Before we wrapped up, Amy took a couple of pictures of our dirty, tired, sticky, battle-weary family…

And here’s one of me and my gal…

As dusk approached, Gideon hauled his presents back up to the house for the last part of his party…

He opened his gifts at the same table I used to open mine at…

and I brought him his old-school-looking soldier cake (my eldest brother assured me this was an essential part of growing up for a little boy)…

just like my Mama has always done for me.

Happy Birthday, little soldier! I’ll always keep the home fires (or at least the birthday candles) burning for you…

~

And finally…the 3rd and final installment…”The Battle”…coming up tomorrow!